“Unashamed” Identifying a Path to Freedom.

One day an old man was casually walking along a country lane with his dog and his mule. Suddenly a speeding pick-up truck careened around the corner, knocking the man, his mule, and his dog into the ditch.The old man decided to sue the driver of the truck, seeking to recoup the cost of the damages.

While the old man was on the stand, the counsel for the defense cross-examined the man by asking a simple question: "I want you to answer 'yes' or 'no' to the following question: Did you or did you not say at the time of the accident that you were 'perfectly fine'"?

And the man said, "Well, me and my dog and my mule were walking along the road … " And the counsel for defense said, "Stop, stop, I asked you, tell me 'yes' or 'no', did you say you were 'perfectly fine' at the time of the accident?"

"Well, me and my dog and my mule were walking along the road and … " The defense attorney appealed to the judge. "Your honor," he said, "the man is not answering the question. Would you please insist that he answer the question?" The judge said, "Well, he obviously wants to tell us something. Let him speak."

So the man said, "Well, me and my dog and my mule were walking along the road and this truck came around the corner far too fast, knocked us into the ditch. The driver stopped, got out of his truck, saw my dog was badly injured, went back to his truck, got his rifle, and he shot it. Then he saw that my mule had broken his leg so he shot it. Then he said, 'How are you?' And I said, 'I'm perfectly fine.'"

How often have we responded to the same way when asked, How are you? That’s standard answer… is what?.... “I’m fine”…

We would rather say that than get into to all the details and open up to our feeling.. I’m okay and you are Okay and the world is doing great.... but not really… Okay.

This morning we we are going to be tackling a subject that is very present in our world and very present in the scriptures - It impacts us different levels personally, socially and culturally — but it is also something we don’t hear about..

And that is the issue of ‘Shame.”

I am really excited to dive into this material.. because I believe that their is tremendous potential for some healing to take place…

Paul tells that Galatian church that they were called to freedom.

The Galatians were going back to the law and ceremonial laws of circumsision.. Paul says don’t go backwards… Go forward… walk towards freedom… Walk towards your true identity..

Galatians 5:13 ESV

13 For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.

The word Called is interesting Word in this Verse - It is a verb and means to be assigned the Name --- it Speaks of an identity that is affiliated with something… Paul’s says to the the Church … you have been assigned the name FREEDOM... God has called you to Freedom..

How many have we assigned our own labels — we have said things like …I’m Discouraged, I’m Overwhelmed, I’m Stressed out, i’m burnt out…

God says its freedom..

.This is not freedom to serve yourself or your fleshly desires… But you have been set free so that you might be a blessing to others…

Our Freedom is to serve others … When we are liberated from Shackles and habits… it brings us liberty where are able to help other also gain freedom.

One goal of this series is to help us identify Shame…... recognize it for what is… So we can tag it.. Acknowledge it… and then to believe that God will help us through it.

What I believe will happen over the next several weeks is will begin to recognize it biblically — theological framework..

That it will be powerful because we will be able to identify shame in our ourselves and our families and our circle of relationships…

and through scriptures and HS guidance we will find new freedom found in Christ……

What is Shame?

Psychologist describe SHAME as an individual emotional experience..

Shame has been called the “sleeper emotion”,

‘ because most of us are so unaware of its effect in our lives.

Sigmund Freud used the picture of an iceberg to illustrate how the conscious, subconscious—which he called the preconscious—and the unconscious aspects of our psyche interact.

An iceberg is a good illustration of how much the subconscious and unconscious, which we are mostly unaware of, impacts our conscious behaviour

Shame has also been called the “Master Emotion”

When you think of Shame you wouldn’t naturally think of it as the Master Emotion… because it is hidden.. it’s master emotion because it has influence.

- Shame is said to influence all our other emotions yet it is the most private of all emotions…

Shame experiences in childhood can so mar the personality that its impact is felt for a lifetime. Interestingly, these shame scars can be so hidden that we do not know what is affecting our behaviour.

We may wonder all our lives what causes our behaviour, never realizing it is due to unhealed shame. Sometimes people cannot motivate themselves to carry out certain behaviors.

What Shame is not? Shame is not Guilt.

As Christians we often deal with GUILT as some thing that is Objective.. something that is tangible.. but treat SHAME as something that is SUBJECTIVE..(something that can’t really be defined. We are familiar with Guilt but not so familiar with shame.

What is the difference between GUILT and what is SHAME?

GUILT focuses on a persons actions or behavior .. We have guilt when we do something wrong… If you have ever taken something that is not yours — that brings about this feeling of Guilt.

Guilt is like a spiritual nerve-response to sin, an emotion in response to wrong behavior (“I acted in a way that was wrong, and I feel guilty”). Those uncomfortable impulses that stab our conscience are meant to turn us away from the wrong we’re doing and turn us back to God. .

In that sense, guilt is a healthy thing. Because guilt comes as a result of something you and I do, we can do something about it—change our behavior—and the guilty feeling will go away.

Shame, on the other hand, is not just a feeling, though we often speak of it that way.

Shame is also the belief or mindset that something is wrong with you.

It’s something you can live with and not necessarily be aware of it. It’s not that you feel bad about your behavior, it’s that you sense or believe you are deficient, defective, or worthless as a human being

SHAME focuses on our WORTH..

GUILT will say — “My actions were bad” Where shame will say “I am bad” —

Consequently, we develop a shame-based way of looking at ourselves. we accept the view that others might slip up and make mistakes once in a while, but they’re still basically worthwhile people.

But when it comes to ourselves... we are like a mirror image of that: No matter how many times you get it right (whatever it is, according to the standards of your environment) you will never be acceptable. Deep down, you believe something is wrong with you..

Here are just a few examples how shame manisfests itself..

If someone says the don’t agree with you” translates: “You’re stupid for thinking that way.”

Making a mistake translates: “I am less of a person.”

Spilling your milk translates: “I’m a klutz.”

Someone else having a number of positive circumstances (a promotion, a new car, finding a spouse) translates: “God must not love me as much as them.”

Your children’s misbehaving translates: “I’m a lousy parent.”

Your inability to live up to some “Christian formula” translates: “I’m a defective Christian.”

Your spouse’s feeling sad translates: “I’m a poor husband/wife

Your parents’ being upset translates: “I’m a failure as their child.

If we are going to get victory over shame.. we need to ask..

1. Where did our Shame Come From?

We are going to start at ground Zero..

Where Shame first entered into the world? In the book of Genesis 3.

In the garden of Eden we find the perfect world.. everything is balanced…It is in a state of Peace… Shalom — Shalom translates, “The way things are supposed to be.” —

Then man disobeyed God by taking of the forbiden fruit in the garden.. things fell apart.... and Shalom - peaceful existence with God was disturbed. The Fall has been called the “vandalism of shalom” —Things were not longer the way they were supposed to be…

How did we loose our Peace...

Genesis tells us how this happened…

Genesis 3:1–11 ESV

1 Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” 2 And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, 3 but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’ ” 4 But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. 5 For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” 6 So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. 7 Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths. 8 And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. 9 But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” 10 And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.” 11 He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?”

So Adam and Eve are in the Garden of Eden it is paradise… It is what God has always wanted and intended for mankind and creation… God lives in a whole and life giving relationship with Adam and Eve.

The scripture says they walk with God in the cool of day, and mankind was naked and without shame...

Genesis 2:25 ESV

25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

Adam and Eve enjoyed and loved God as God loved and enjoyed them. Not Ashamed means there was no feeling of shame, feeling of embarrassment, or feelings of remorse.

In the center of the garden of Eden is the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

The tree is a representation of God’s loving “no trespassing sign.”

The tree represents the idea that humans, rather than God can define what is good and bad.. God gave free choice..

The way that the serpent tempts Eve, is still the major way the enemy tries to deceive us today, by questioning God’s character. —

The first words we here from Satan in the Bible is a question of God’s Character and authority?

“Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?”

Satan tries to get Eve to take the fruit, and take life for herself rather than trust what God says about her… Eve takes the Bate… She eats the Fruit then gives some to her husband.

Satan’s first words reveal exactly what he is all about… He opposes God and he is the accuser of God’s people…

He hasn’t change is character..

Satan main purpose when dealing with us is to stop us from being fruitful… Affective...

and one of the ways he does that is by questioning our obedience to God…

Satan knows that on the other-side of our obedience is fruitfulness… If he can fill our minds with all the things that are wrong about us… If he can keep us listening to all the negative voices out there… He can keep us down...

Eden has competing voices… if Perfect world had competing voices… we out to ought to expect our world is saturated by voices to which we should not listen. We have to make a descision to what voices we are going to submit too.

Adam and Eve Chose to Listen to Satan… He appealed to their ego’s that they might be like God himself knowing Good and Evil..…

He wants us to be independent of God rather than dependent on God.. He wants us to discover and define our identity rather than

It is after Adam and Eve eat the fruit that they first encounter shame and feel defective.

They went from living in this open relation of before God and each other.. unashamed to one where they hid themselves.

The immediatly had guilt and shame… … .

God intends the feeling of guilt to alert us that we have stepped outside of God’s righteous boundaries, thereby sinning against Him.

Guilt alerts us to repent and reenter God’s path of righteousness. When we ignore the guilt signal we hide, just as Adam and Eve did. The guilt then is buried in shame and hidden from our awareness; thus we become covered with shame.

Rather than basking in the joy of time with God, they begin to think God is to be feared… They felt unworthy…

Humans were never meant to feel a lack of worth, this is unnatural to us and what is unnatural to us is often experienced as pain. We were meant to be in a shame-free and unconditionally loving relationship with God.

Think of a newborn baby being held by their parents. They are loved and adored for no other reason than they exist. This love is enough and it is the fullness of life we were meant to live in. Unfortunately, we are born into a world that tells us we are shameful and that points out our nakedness.

The question God asks Adam and Eve is the same question we have to contend with today.

Who told you, you were naked? When did you lose your innocence?

God is wanting Adam and Eve to goto the source..

He asks the WHO question!

God says --- Who told you, you were naked? What is the source…

Sometimes its people we love and respect that say hurtful things… sometimes people out of their own hurt --- defer their shame onto you… It’s not really your problem… but you become the object of blame…

… This exactly what Adam does… God addresses Adam because he is really the one that was responsible… Adam throws the Blame on to Eve… He threw her under the bus… But isn’t that true when we a confronted with our sin in our lives… it must be someone elses fault...

He asks the When question

When was it that you allowed shame into your life…this is a timing issue… wasn’t when you were 5 years old… was a week ago… How long have you been holding onto Shame?

God has give us the Name Freedom!

2. What Do we Do with Shame?

Once there was a man who had a favorite spot by a river, a quiet, shady, wonderful place. He had just stretched out in the fragrant grass one day when he heard cries coming from the water. He spied a figure bobbing helplessly in the current. Quickly, he dived in and pulled the drowning man to the safety of the shore.

No sooner had he caught his breath than he heard another cry of distress from the river. Despite his seared lungs and aching muscles, he dived in again and rescued a second man. In fact, for the rest of that day, the man saved one person after another. When he had spent every ounce of strength, he watched in horror as many others sank to a watery doom.

Finally, in utter exhaustion, he collapsed at the water’s edge and cried to the heavens, “Dear Lord, what’s going on upstream?”

You see, each of us has a relational “upstream.” Friends, families, churches, teachers provide the blueprint for the way we think of ourselves and our present relationships.

In turn, you and I represent the upstream for those who come after us. The treatment we have all received in past relationships is the source of a powerful current—our sense of emotional and spiritual well-being, that is, how good or bad we feel we are as human beings, and how well or poorly we think we measure up. And so the first step in turning toward the solid shore of emotional health where we can cease our inner struggling is to understand our relational upstream and how it has set the course toward our present inner state of being.

How do we handle Shame?…

a. We need to see Shame as Universal.

We need to understand that Shame is not unique to you it’s universal problem.. In fact it’s embeded in culture… Missionaries know this that - many Eastern and Asian Cultures are “honor” and “shame based.”

I grew up in Africa in a Honor/ Shame culture… For example when I was in High School…I attended a boarding school.. If you failed a test… your grades were posted on a wall --- and actually got punishment for those grades…

We see it in our Western culture but is more subtitle and you have to look for it and identify it… sometimes it’s even deeper… It’s found in all arena’s of life.

We know that much of the Bible is written with this same perspective..

b. We need see Shame in the life of Christ.

Shame was a significant factor in the crucifixion of Jesus.

Roman crucifixion was designed not just to be horribly painful, but to be terribly humiliating. The victim was stripped naked, beaten, and mocked by the crowds -

Although the Gospels record in varying degrees the physical torture of Jesus, they all emphasize the attempts to shame Him.

• spitting on Jesus

Matthew 26:67 ESV

67 Then they spit in his face and struck him. And some slapped him,

• striking Jesus in the face and head (Matt 26:67; 27:30; Mark 14:65; 15:19);

• stripping off Jesus’ clothes (Matt 27:28);

• ridiculing Jesus (Matt 27:28–29, 31, 41–43; Mark 15:18–20, 31; Luke 23:11, 35–37; John 19:2–3, 5);

• insulting Jesus (Matt 27:44; Mark 15:32, 36).

Jesus identified with every kind of struggle that we face in this life and including our Shame..

Hebrews 4:15 ESV

15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.

Jesus did not necessary experence every thing you and I face… for example Jesus was never married..or had children… But at the emotional and physical level… Jesus felt doubt, Jesus felt pain, Jesus felt rejection… Jesus felt shame... Every Emotion...

Because he faced these things scripture proposes simply and clearly that he will help us with meet every situation —we might face...

not with human wisdom but divine—and not with merely human strength, but God’s inexhaustive strength.

c. We need to See How God has turned Shame on its head.

Jesus turns Shame into Honor…

Yet, Hebrews 12:2 tells that Jesus disregarded the shame of the cross for the joy set before Him

Hebrews 12:2 ESV

2 looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

In the cross God takes on our shame, and He undoes the curse. The cross reveals the character of God, that He loves us unconditionally.

we learn that where Jesus sits we sit. He sits in the place of honor, and we are with Him there. —

Paul tells that we were once dead in our sins… Walking with the rest of lost humanity… following the crowd...following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air --- living from our passions...carrying out the desires of the body and the mind…destined for the wrath of God..

That’s the path that we had chosen… But when you found Christ the course was changed.. instead of disgrace and shame… we received grace and mercy..

Ephesians 2:4–6 ESV

4 But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, 5 even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— 6 and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus,

Now we stand not in Shame but we have been raised with Christ.. He has lifted us up into heavenly place with Christ.

Conclusion

..Paul tells us in Galations that we have been set free from the shackels of legalism…

Galatians 5:1 ESV

1 For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.

So here is the thing Positionally — being in Christ we have been set Free from law… We have been set free from the things that bring us into bondage.... But Freedom has to be appropriated it has to become yours.

Christine Cane says it like this..

Being set free and walking in freedom are not the same. The first was done for us by Jesus, but the second we much choose to do ourselves in his strength and by his grace. - Christine Caine

I think the temptation with guilt and shame in our lives --- is to keep it hidden — Like Adam and Eve they looked for leaves to cover up… The reason Jesus came was so that we could be restored into a right relationship… so that we would no longer walk under guilt and condemnation.